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Love or Confusion

January 20, 2011

I fear I may be gradually going insane.

I’ve long blamed this holidays, for after all summertime blues strike hard and they can be unpredictable.

Like many things.

Love and confusion. One can go mad over such things.

Sometimes it’s like it’s Groundhog Day. You have this new journey, but every day you start back in the same place. That is life, but every time you go through an experience it seems to leave you back at square one, because change is little. It’s waking up on the same day, with the same thoughts.

Friends are lovely. Handshakes less so. They can often be burning. They can polarise. They can be insincere.

Other things are undoubtedly sincere that to even state them feels like an understatement, or even insulting. Worse still, they can be stuck behind your teeth, because who wants to bring up past demons, to restore old totems of insecurity. Yet what’s the alternative?

Certainly, we progress. To where though? Was here really that bad? Was there ever a need?

University beckons. I welcome the more stable sense of life, although not its infringement upon my time. I try to be achieve real productivity, yet regardless it never feels like enough. Not enough books, not enough movies, not enough practice.

Rediscovering self-doubt is never easy.

I remain iconoclastic, to the extent that I can. It wouldn’t be fun if it were easy, or if things were always right. If there was nothing wrong, if nothing existed that needed to be changed, the struggle and joy would all end. Nothing of worth comes from nothing.

Yet have I really been struggling? What sacrifice has really occurred, asides from perhaps the convolution of thoughts.

I am naturally inquisitive. I ask many questions. Some know this more than others.

I also talk a lot.

A lot.

Is this love or confusion? Jimi can identify my problems, but he can’t exactly solve them.

Suppose we should all learn from Lennon. Happiness is a warm gun. We’re all mad. It’s what makes life so interesting.

Interesting’s a good word.

I have no desire to infringe upon anybody. We make decisions, we uphold them, we respect others’, and what happens happens. It’s all a game, and it’s not worth getting upset over.

Be excellent to each other, even amongst this urban sprawl of a blog.


From → Personal

  1. Iconoclastic permalink

    /aɪˈkɒnəˌklæst/ [ahy-kon-uh-klast]


    a breaker or destroyer of images, esp. those set up for religious veneration.
    a person who attacks cherished beliefs, traditional institutions, etc., as being based on error or superstition.

    • I’ve been reading Galbraith, everything I think is as such.

      A slightly grandiose word I’ll admit.

  2. Horatio Hufnagel permalink

    Wow this is an interesting read, but very mysterious. What initiated this :S

    • What’s more different is how different people interpret it differently. I like that.

      And to quote the Paranoid Android “life, wretched isn’t it”

  3. Everyone’s insane. Our world’s insane. I find it hard a lot of the time to even comprehend that people do bad things, or that everyone is really caught up that much in self-interest.

    Sad fact, the world’s not perfect. But its contrast with the things we cherish make them so much more appreciated =] (hope that wasn’t really cheesy…)

    Everything is confusing.

    Love is weird.

    • Horatio Hufnagel permalink


    • I’m like Jimi Hendrix, without the talent.

      Ah Kieran I became used to those things many a year ago, working with the news does nothing but to solidify such things.

      But people do work together. People simply come across things different ways. Not all people, but the disagreements I see on 7:30 are because they care.

      I really do like what I have.

  4. Iconoclastic permalink

    I wasn’t calling it grandiose, it just seems you’ve used the word in a way that’s completely wrong.

    • And I was explaining my criteria for it – in my mind I feel like I’m constantly attacking ideas, traditions and norms, which was based off the stuff I’ve been reading recently and discussions with my coworkers and friends.

      If it seems rather out of context well not much of the blog makes direct sense so I apologise if that offends you.

      I was calling it grandiose as it’s a bit pompous to say “I remain iconoclastic”.

      Please, continue to critique a mad man.

      • Horatio Hufnagel permalink

        I don’t see the problem with ‘iconoclastic’ in there at all :S

  5. Gloop permalink

    I read this drunk, what’s it about?

    • I like to think there is no point to it.

      That said there are a lot of allusions to popular culture in this.

      Besides imagination is far more potent than reality.

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